His eye is on the sparrow...

His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He watches me.

Since my last post, things have continued to get better. Well I should say they got a bit worse before they got better. I left you at the point where I had had the infusion all day at the cancer therapy centre and then a bottle was attached to my port that I went home with. I had that attached to me for all the next day and until 2pm on the day after that. Things went quite well when I got home. Theanti nausea   needle and tablets they gave me on the first day worked very well for the first night and day, and then on the Friday, after the bottle was removed, I started to feel the effects of the chemo! I had been given a bottle of tablets to take if I started to feel nausea coming on, so I started taking them, and kept them up for a few days. I didn't feel like eating at all, the thought of food and the smell of food was awful. I could feel the chemo pumping through my body and I could feel my body fighting with everything it had! I had a few issues with my eyes and my lips twitching, but, thank you God, after a couple of days, all the bad feelings started to subside. I was tired and worn out, but the first experience had turned out to be a lot better than I had imagined.

On the Monday when I saw the Surgeon, he told me that he wouldn't be re attaching my bowel, so I will have a stoma bag for the rest of my life. He feels that there is more chance of getting more cancer if that op so done. I can live with that. He also explained to me that he had scraped cancer off my bladder when he did the operation as well, and that explains why I have had so much pain in that area. None of this had been mentioned previously! So when the doctors lay all the facts on the table, they apparently like to keep a few facts up their sleeve to pull out later! It makes you wonder if there could possibly be more they haven't told me. I mustn't worry, it probably makes very little difference to the whole scheme of things, the chemo just has to work on a few more areas, oh yes, he also mentioned a few spots on my stomach!

The Tuesday appointment was to see the Oncologist, to chat about any side effects I may have had from my first round. He seemed quite positive about how things would go, and said that I would probably not have much of a different experience that the first time for a few months. I hope he's right! I am starting to imagine that I might be able to have a life in between chemo rounds. One week on and one week off. I can live with that!

I want to say a huge thank you to all those wonderful people who have been supporting me through this experience. My lovely friend Elaine, who has taken me to some of my appointments with a cheery smile, and a happy chat, to take my mind away from what's happening! My friend Beth, who calls, and pops in to see how things are going, another friend I met at choir last year who is such an inspiration to me, Denise, who fought breast cancer 20 years ago and who told me she used to say,

 "I know I have to die one day, but NOT TODAY!"

My daughters Anna and Emily send me inspirational messages and verses to remind me that there is so much to fight for, and that God is in control, He knows what I'm going through and He is always with me, through it all.

The song I started with has been a favourite of mine for a very long time. If you want to hear an amazing version of it, it's on the soundtrack of sister act 2. Have a listen to it, it is so worth hearing!

Again, thank you for your support. There are so many more people who have helped me along the way, I haven't forgotten you. Looking forward to your feedback as usual!

Liz